Leadership hack: Regaining personal control by letting things go
3 practical steps to improve your mental and emotional wellbeing.
The last few years in particular haven’t been easy, because we have seen the world changing almost faster than we can bear - and the sure knowledge that it's going to change even faster. Life is not always what it’s supposed to be, and it doesn’t appear to become easier any time soon.
But there is an important silver lining: we can get better at it, at life that is, by building our personal resilience. By developing our strength, our courage, and our confidence, we can improve the way we deal with what is happening around us and in turn enhance our wellbeing.
“Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better.
Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills.
Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.”
~ Jim Rohn
There is no doubt that our mindset has an enormous effect on our level of resilience and wellbeing. Essentially, everything starts with the humble thought. Because when we don’t think well about ourselves and what’s happening around us, we in turn don’t feel well and hence don’t do well. It is imperative that we learn how to improve our thoughts to think well, create a balanced mental and emotional connection to feel well, and introduce strategies that support our actions so that we can do well now and in the future. This will help us establish our wellbeing on all four planes of our existence: the Body (Physical), the Mind (Mental), the Heart (Emotional), and the Purpose (Spiritual).
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Thinking well
To harness the power of thought and to think well, we can schedule regular self-reflection sessions to identify limiting thoughts that we need to let go of, particularly when we get stressed. And then come up with new and more empowering thoughts going forward.
Feeling well
In order to feel well, we must create conscious awareness around our unconscious mind by tapping into our emotions and recognising why they are there to ensure that the brain and the heart are truly connected, work together, and possess and apply excellent communication. This will create our most congruent and authentic self, which allows us to live in harmony and with great mental and emotional wellbeing. If the optimism of our heart says ‘yes’, but the pessimism of our mind says ‘no’, or vice versa, we experience mixed results, because we give ourselves mixed messages. This leads to confusion, frustration, negative emotions and destructive self-talk. Balance and congruence are key!
Doing well
And last but not least: To do well, one important step is to stop pretending to be superhuman! It is our responsibility to take charge of our outcomes and stop hiding our feelings just to keep others going. We must reach out to people for help if required, because our wisdom, experience and expertise do not prevent us from feeling stuck once in a while – we all do. We must make our mental health and our emotional wellbeing a top priority and learn to ask for help when we know that we can’t do it ourselves and accept help when it’s offered. Let’s help each other out within the team, our organisation, our family, or any other group we are a part of. Because the moment we stop fighting for each other, we lose humanity. So, let’s embrace diversity and leverage from each other’s strengths and different skill sets. And when we do, we will realise that people all around us who always wanted to help, didn’t do so in the past because they thought we didn’t need it, and all was under control.
Our practical wellbeing tip: You can’t control the uncontrollable, so you must let it go. Holding on to things that are not in your control can be detrimental to your mental health, and the following 3 steps can help you when feelings of stress, pressure or overwhelm creep in:
- Write down everything that stresses you out.
- Cross off all the items that are not in your control and let them go; truly!
- Start to focus and invest your time and energy into the things that are within your control, one at the time!
If you shift your attention and thoughts straight to solution-based thinking and start to take action, you will experience a sense of achievement, success and fulfilment which leads you back on track so you can achieve the outcomes you are looking for.
So, let’s collectively look after our mental wellbeing. It's what we do to each other and for each other that matters most! And this insight and realisation will strengthen our outlook and help us overcome any obstacles we might face to succeed in today’s busy and ever-changing environment.
Leadership. Success. Unpacked.
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[This post originally appeared on the PROfound Leadership blog.]
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